Integral Review

Welcome to my personal blog! I use it to share what I'm currently learning or thinking about, usually on topics related to technology, business, and health.

There’s no problem: Understanding and dealing with stress

I feel a continuous background level of stress. Reflecting back, I don't think I ever worried for a good reason. Yet, all of us need to deal with stress. It's our natural condition.

Reading biographies of the richest and most famous among us confirms this universal truth. No amount of achievement seems to be enough to fight off stress. That's not a problem: stress is a pure creation of our minds; it doesn't exist in the physical world. If all humans disappeared, stress would disappear too. This means it's something we can all work on. We need to train our minds.

I'll admit, stress is something I feel more often than I would care to admit, especially over the last few months. I've decided to actively fight this instinct and document my systems to help. This article is the result of my work. As always, stoicism and mindfulness provide insightful answers.

You exist thanks to worried ancestors

Evolutionarily, worrying makes sense, as it helps you become hyper-aware of the problems you need to deal with. In a critically dangerous environment, stress is essential to maximize the chances of survival. Our more relaxed ancestors were at a disadvantage, so we come from long lineages of people who tend to stress.

Today, most of us, especially if you're reading this blog, have little to worry about. You will be able to provide food and shelter for your family. Essentials will be covered. Physical violence is so unusual that we rarely think about it. Yet, most of us continue to feel some kind of stress on a daily basis as our genes don't correctly adjust stress levels based on our new environment. This is something we'll have to consciously do.

Accept your instincts, but with limits

In the same way that a mouse seeing a cat will instantly feel fear and run away, we should expect our instincts to sometimes take over. If your boss calls you into his office and fires you, feeling a rush of emotions is something most of us will fail to prevent. There are certain events that will trigger that response regardless of how much you've trained your mind: hearing about the grave illness of a loved one, getting sued, having someone pull out a gun to rob you, etc.

But contrary to the mouse that will carry on once the threat of the mouse has subsided, we often carry the stress for much longer. This is where our reason fails us: Events keep on living in our minds as long as we'll let them. Our goal should be to regain control as quickly as possible: If you're getting robbed, panicking isn't going to help you. If your child is sick, cluttering your mind with stress isn't what he needs.

Reserve judgment on what you do not control

Let's go with the usual cliché from Hamlet: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Yet, it is true. It is the value that we assign to events that makes our life needlessly difficult. If we're late for a flight, we'll assign a highly negative feeling to this possibility. Yet, if we pause to think about it, the consequences are usually mundane. When we think back, most of our past reasons for stress were vastly overblown by our own judgments.

This is especially true for what isn't under our control. Let's say a doctor informs us that we might become blind because of a current illness. Sure, if we could, it would be better to avoid that outcome. But we shouldn't judge negatively the prospect of becoming blind. Sure, some things would change, but this new state wouldn't prevent us from living an honorable life or experiencing inner tranquility.

Let's reserve judgement for what's outside of our control. We're better off accepting what fate brings us and focusing on what we do control.

Don't get robbed of your present

If you receive bad news that is cause for worry, the reasonable reaction is to make a plan, execute it, and then wait. If your job is in jeopardy, you should think about what actions you want to take (work more, look for another position, etc.) and when you'll act. But once that is done, if you're at dinner with your spouse, worrying about your job makes no sense. It won't change the outcome. You are robbing yourself of the present moment.

This simple observation can change your life if you tend to continuously think about past and present problems. Realize that even in the most difficult of times, worrying makes no sense. Either you are figuring out what to do, doing it, or doing something else. There's no place for worry. If you start to stress, you're allowing your mind to drift needlessly and failing to be fully present.

They are no problems

You're about to lose your job? So what? Chances are, this won't prevent you from living a decent and honorable life. We associate a lot of value with having expensive things, such as a nice car, big home, fancy vacations, or a nice phone. But the truth is, we do not need those things. More generally, Stoics call wealth or health "preferred indifferents": we shouldn't need them, but they are preferred because they are naturally desirable and can have a positive influence on one's life.

We should have the ability to maintain inner tranquility even if we ever lose them. Instinctively, this can seem difficult. Personally, I find that thinking of a time when I didn't have some of those things helps me realize how little would change if, for example, I lost all my assets.

Understanding this fact makes one realize that there are very few actual problems. If your children are going to sleep hungry, you should be very much worried, and I'm not sure I would even want inner tranquility at that point. But if I lose my job and I'm forced to go back to live with my parents and sleep on a couch, I'll still have everything I need to live a virtuous and fulfilling life.

I've written this article (as with all others on this blog) for myself. Continuously I need to remind myself of those ideas. Thankfully, I get the sense that over time, our minds internalize those concepts and change for the better our outlook on life.

#health #mindfulness

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